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The Mug Shot of Paco
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I've been using the computer since I was just a pup. Here's a letter I wrote to my cousin, Floyd, before I was 1 year old. Floyd is supposed to be a minature daschund, but he grew up to be the biggest doxie you've ever seen! He had a few issues with bladder control as a pup and Mom says Floyd stands for Flying Liquid Organic Yellow Droplets. Here's a copy of my letter:
Dear Floyd, I've overheard my Mom and Dad talk about "getting me fixed" in a month. I've also heard them mention that you "had it done". I thought maybe you could give me some advice.
What exactly do they mean when they say "getting me fixed"? I didn't realize I was broken. In fact, I thought I was a pretty cool dude. Noel "got fixed" last week, but she still looks the same to me. Mommy keeps saying to Noel that now the two of them are just the same. They don't look the same to me. Mommy is a whole lot taller and a lot less hairier than Noel. Mommy doesn't nip at my tail or ears, either.
Mommy does yell at me when I have an urge to "hump" Noel. She (Mommy) makes me stop. Noel doesn't seem too thrilled about it either. It's just something I was born to do. Mommy also got mad at me when I lifted my leg in the house and "marked" Noel's head. She called me a bad dog and said "That's it! You are definitely getting fixed!" I want to make my mommy happy because I love her lots and if "getting fixed will do it, then I'll be brave and do it.
Do I need a repair manual to fix myself? Do I go to a mechanic? How will I know when I'm fixed if I didn't know I was broken? I've been around you and you still seem to have a lot of problems that need fixing. Is it an ongoing process?
I've heard Mommy say something about my balls being taken away. I just don't understand this. Noel has 3 different balls round the house; a green one, a blue one and a fuzzy one. She plays fetch with them. I don't like to play fetch and I don't own any balls. Mommy and Daddy didn't take Noel's balls away after she got fixed. I checked. They are still in our toy box. I like chew bones and cuddly toys. I hope they don't take them away.
Anyway, any hair you could shed on the subject to help me understand would be greatly appreciated. Your cousin, Paco.
That was two years ago. I remember that then I was taken to the vet and took a little nap. When I woke up, I had some pain in the groin area, but after a few days, I was back to my good ol' boy self. I quit "humping" Noel's head and Mom and Dad did not take away my toys, so I'm still not entirely sure what the big deal was about.
