My people nicknamed me "Princess" for obvious reasons. I have one very good thing about me and two really bad things to talk about. The good thing is that I have the biggest bladder ever for a Cocker Spaniel. You see, I HATE to get my feet wet. (Princesses don't get their feet dirty, do they?) So if it is even just a little bit damp or cold outside, forget it. I'm not going out there until my eyes actually turn yellow. I can wait for hours. I don't go until I have to.

Now for the bad stuff: I happen to think it is very good that I am an interior decorator and also a magician. As an interior decorator, I appreciate the look of toilet paper carefully strung out about the house. If anyone leaves the roll within reach, I carefully grab the end and walk around, leaving a beautiful trail of white. It is just amazing what such an accessory does for the interior of the house.

As for my magic trick, that is eating razors. Today I got ahold of my sixth razor. The plastic part is the best, but I don't mind eating the blade too. Today Mom and Dad left to take Susan to the airport after her Spring Break. She had to go back to college. Well, Susan gave me a nice break, because she forgot about my magic trick and left the razor in the tub. After they all locked up the house and left, I went on my rounds of the bathrooms, checking for toilet paper (no luck, it was all up high) and razors --- bingo!

The best part is when Mom gets home and practically has a heart attack. She keeps looking at those little bits of metal on the floor and thinking, "This is gonna be the time Cookie bites the dust." You think Mom would figure out after six razors that I am magic. Mom swears I am trying to commit suicide. With my good looks, why would I do that?!

Dad just swears and yells about how much I cost in toilet paper and how expensive razors are. Like his model airplane hobby is so cheap. I'll match my razor blade bill up against his charge card anyday.